Rachel Ann Davis: Putting the "Blah" in Blog

Wisdom of Mikey
Mike thinks it's good for me to stop watching/reading the news all the time--that it just makes me depressed and over-analytical. So he tells me to find funny stuff. So I do.

Click here to watch a hilarious video. This dog makes Finny and Lucky look like rocket scientists!

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[DECEMBER 30 2006]

Christmas Updates
Well, Christmas has officially come and gone, and I'm (somewhat) happy to report that everyone survived. I had a very nice time with my parents and siblings and neices and nephew, and no one ended up crying or fighting about anything. (Does it seem a bit, oh, I don't know, depressing, that the bar against which family holidays are measured could be quite so low?) Anyway, it was a fun time. I got some good presents, and gave some good presents...fa la la la la.

Today is my little brother's birthday. Happy birthday, little man! He's my favorite brother, ever. Period. Always has been, always will be.

Other than that, not a lot is going on. Mikey gave me an old Nintendo system for Christmas, so we've been having some epic gaming battles over here. Always a fantastic time. And he also gave the dogs a 3-4' long rawhide stick. Because I'm a crummy dog owner, I didn't properly supervise my dogs while they chewed on said rawhide. As a result, Finny ate THE WHOLE THING in a matter of hours. And just a few hours later, he had some SERIOUS bowel problems. (Have you seen the laxative scene from Dumb and Dumber? Think that, times about twenty.) My poor little red boy! I think he feels all better now. At least I sure hope so, little cute-head!

Okay, more later. My New Year's Resolution---besides, obviously, achieving health and wellness (which isn't really "health and wellness," per se, but rather just a skinny facade that suggests health and wellness)--will be to update this blog at least twice weekly. I think I can do that. [DECEMBER 26 2006]

A Reason to be Depressed
Too many "depressed" people have no real reasons for their mood. But check this out: if you're a smart person looking for a real reason to hate humanity and lament its future, I've got one for you:

Outside of my padded, institutionally-gray cube wall this week, two engineer-types are talking about higher education. "Great," I think, "people committed to bettering themselves and expanding their minds." About 14 seconds into the conversation, though, it heads in this direction:

Holier-than-Thou Blonde Guy #1: "Why would you sign up for an ETHICS class, dude? That's almost as stupid as taking English!"

Idiotic Blonde Guy #2: "I know, but I just needed something that would fit my schedule."

Holier-than-Thou Blonde Guy #1: "You're not gonna learn anything useful in ethics, dude! Stick with classes that will actually give you some benefit! Chemistry and Trig were definitely the most useful classes I took!"

Now, I have nothing against chemistry and trig, but I absolutely hate pretentious, moronic dopes whose deepest thoughts probably come while swilling beers and wading shirtless in their backyard kiddie-pools. These are the guys who honestly believe they're smarter than 99% of the population. I shudder to imagine if that were true.

The soundtrack in my brain very rarely screams the "F" word at strangers, but on this day my brain was nearly ready to explode. Fucking morons. Please tell me you agree with me. [DECEMBER 14 2006]

When Words Fail, Resort to the Lyrics of Your Playlist
Who says a Friday night all alone can't be LOADS of fun? I'm just listening to some of my favorite tunes, and it ROCKS! [DECEMBER 8 2006]

Morphine: "Potion"
Give me a potion to make me love you. Give me a potion to make me care.
Give me a potion to make me love you. Make it a double.

Led Zepplin: "Going to California"
Made up my mind to make a new start, Going to California with an aching in my heart.
Someone told me there's a girl out there with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair.

Dashboard Confessional: "Screaming Infidelities" (My song to Lucky)
Your hair, it's everywhere.

Soul Coughing : "4x5"
Quantify my luck, I need a mercy fuck.

Shawn Mullins: "Beautiful Wreck"
I've lost count of the times I've given up on you, But you make such a beautiful wreck, you do.
At the dark end of this bar, what a beautiful wreck you are.

Refreshments: "Down Together"
Your breath would smell like wine. I like that a lot, especially when I kiss you.

Ray Charles: "You Don't Know Me"
You give your hand to me, and then you say hello, And I can hardly speak, my heart is beating so.
And anyone can tell, you think you know me well, But you don't know me.

Poe: "Angry Johnny"
I can't do it to you gently; I can do it with animal's grace.
I can't do it with precision; I can do it with gourmet taste.
But either way, either way: I wanna kill you. I wanna blow you away.

Mike Doughty: "Rising Sign"
I see the dangers of your rising sign. But I swear, I'd like to drink the fuel straight from your lighter.
It's all inside the wrist; it's all inside the way you time it. I resent the way you make me like myself.

Jack Johnson: "The News"
Why don't the newscasters cry when they read about people who die?
At least they could be decent enough to put just a tear in their eyes.

Gary Jules: "Mad World"
And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad, the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.

Frank Sinatra : "The Way You Look Tonight"
Some day, when I'm awfully low, when the world is cold, I will feel a glow
Just thinking of you, and the way you look tonight.

Fiona Apple: "Extraordinary Machine"
If there was a better way to go, then it would find me.
I can't help it: the road just rolls out behind me.
Be kind to me, or treat me mean—
I'll make the most of it; I'm an extraordinary machine.

Diana Krall: "The Best Thing For You"
I only want what's the best thing for you, and the best thing for you would be me.

David Gray: "The Other Side"
I know it would be outrageous, to come on all courageous
and offer you my hand, to pull you up onto dry land,
when all I got is sinking sand.
The trick aint worth the time it buys.
I'm sick of hearing my own lies.
And loves a raven when it flies.

Travis Tritt: "Tell Me I Was Dreaming"
Tell me I was dreaming, that you didn't leave me here to cry.
You didn't say you don't love me anymore;
It was just my imagination telling lies.
Tell me that you didn't say good-bye.

Counting Crows: "Anna Begins"
She's talking in her sleep. It's keepin' me awake, and Anna begins to toss and turn. And every word is nonsense but I understand and oh, Lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing.

Coldplay: "The Scientist"
Nobody said it was easy. But no one ever said it would be this hard.

Ben Folds Five: "Evaporated"
I poured my heart out, and it evaporated.

Ani DiFranco: "Dilate"
When I need to wipe my face, I use the back of my hand.
And I like to take up space just because I can.
And I use my dress to wipe up my drink,
You know, I care less and less what people think.

True Fans...
True fans persevere through even the most difficult times.

HOORAY! BACK AMONG HUMANITY!
It's 12:31 a.m. Wednesday night. I just wrote my 50,000 words for NaNoWriMo, so I am officially DONE! And I couldn't be happier about it, or back to be among the land of the living. I've ignored lots of people for lots of time, but now I'm ready to party. Sorry for ignoring the blog; when you're trying to write a 200-page book in a month, it's a little hard to be motivated to write on a pointless, boring blog.

And I'm proud, too. I even had a day to spare! [NOVEMBER 29 2006]

Why Today Sucked

Power blinked last night, which reset my alarm clock, which meant I slept until 7:30 a.m. and had to haul ass running around like a madman to get to work at a respectable hour.
Bad hair and skin day.
Didn't get any matches for BSC's Turkey Bingo.
My CD backup—containing at least one critical and otherwise forever lost file—is corrupt and won't play. Critical file is now probably forever lost.
Weather is cold and windy. Yesterday was sunny and 65.
Got a red Dino Flintstones vitamin this morning. Usually red and purple vitamins signify a "very, very good day," and orange vitamins signify an "okay day." Because today—a red day—sucked, I now have to re-evaluate my once concrete theories about the relationship between vitamin colors and kinds-of-days.
Lucky sprayed her anus when I carried a pile of books and supplies from the kitchen to the office. No physical signs (thank God!) but house stunk.
Favorite pen ran out of ink.
Check Engine light came on in car yesterday. I know it was yesterday, but still...it added to the suckiness of today as well.
Health and Wellness begins tomorrow. While the long-term benefits (health and wellness, and a supermodel kind of beauty!) are positive, getting there is probably gonna suck. Me love pizza and beer.

Oh well. Tomorrow's another day. Happy Halloween. [OCTOBER 31 2006]

Fantasy
Yesterday I got a phone call straight out of a fantasy. And no, it wasn't Brad Pitt desperate to make love to me. It was my sister, and she said, "Hi Rach. Can I please come over and mow your lawn?" Oh, it was beyond description, dear readers. I politely accepted her offer, and she came over and raked my leaves and mowed my lawn. So the mowing season is officially over. Hooray! [OCTOBER 30 2006]

Productivity
This weekend was very productive. Even though I was sick, I got a lot accomplished. Like what, you ask? Well, I cleaned my entire house, organized my filing cabinet, broke down and recorded my Red Dog tax receipts, changed my furnace filter (not a big job, but you'd think it was, considering how long it had been!), picked up dog poop from the back yard, had my sister rake and bag my leaves (29 bags total!), and sent cards to a bunch of clients. I still have to finish the Davis family/farm scrapbook I'm working on (that's a huge project!), organize my crafting area, reorganize my bedroom closet, finish my book collection database (I'm at 367 total books right now, with lots more to go!), mow my lawn, change lightbulbs outside, and clean my fridge and breezeway. But whatever. I got a lot done.

Kathy (my sister-in-law) and her neighbor Colleen are stopping over tomorrow night, since I'm helping Kathy with some stuff. And I swear I have something going on Tuesday night, too, but I don't know what it is. This will be another busy week, and I'm likely to get more sick. Bleh. But we have the dog party this weekend, which I'm SUPER excited for. Last year was fun, and I couldn't stay too long. This year, I've reserved the entire night for the festivities! [OCTOBER 22 2006]

Idiotic Ridiculous Lameass Bullshit
So I just got an e-mail from my little brother, and he told me that he likes his girlfriend's dog better than Finny or Lucky. Whatever dude. My dogs rule. [OCTOBER 17 2006]

A Busy Weekend
I was TRULY the crazy dog lady this weekend. I dog-sat Chip and Ginger for my old co-worker Becky, and took in another foster dog (Hanna) indefinitely. I'll have Hanna until she finds a good, loving, forever home. She's quite a wonderful girl, minus the growling at Lucky. Needless to say, having 5 dogs in my small house this weekend made the time just FLY. I have to be at work around 7:30 tomorrow, too, so I'll probably have to get up at 5:00 just to make sure I can get Hanna kenneled and settled before I leave. If you know a good home for a beautiful German Shepherd, let me know! [OCTOBER 15 2006]

Ramblings of Resentment and Smothering
Marriage really freaked me out. Knowing that Ryan is married again makes me wonder whether he really learned anything, or whether he wrote off the entire experience as my fault and simply found another woman to ignore and belittle.

Not that Mike is chomping at the bit or anything, but I'm very gun-shy. Before I marry, I want to make sure that I've identified and corrected everything that was "my fault," and that my motivations and expectations are realistic. I will not marry without a deep--and growing--mutual respect. Perhaps I will not marry. [OCTOBER 11 2006]

Money Money Money
To make my Mikey proud (and ONLY to make my Mikey proud), I have begun to save money more diligently. (I'm sure Mike just hopes I die first, and he's left with all my hard-earned savings.) I am now contributing 14% to my 401(k), and am contributing the annual maximum to my Roth IRA. I'm also direct depositing $300 from EVERY paycheck into my savings account, and I've started a (very small) CD. So there. I'm sure Karen and Mikey are proud of my new sense of financial responsibility. Here's the thing, though: I was never financially irresponsible. They're just WAY too militant and responsible. Whatever dude. [OCTOBER 10 2006]

Emergency Baths
Last Thursday, a (very scared!) dog was running through a busy section of Hwy 81. It took me about an hour--and many, many dog treats--but I finally coerced the poor dog into my car. I brought him home, called the number on his tag, and reunited a very happy family. Score one for Rachel's karma.

To balance those good feelings, my very own dogs created some drama. Lucky stunk to holy hell all weekend, so she got an emergency bath on Sunday night. Yes, that's right: yesterday. She got another one today (yes, Monday). Why two baths in two days? Tonight in the backyard, Finny decided that he should pee on Lucky. She must've been taking his claimed territory. I love those dogs, but honest to God. Sometimes I wonder. [OCTOBER 9 2006]

New Deal
I've got a new deal, starting tonight: I'll be updating my blog EVERY DAY this week. Yes, you read that correctly. No more ignoring my rapt reading public for weeks at a time. At least not this week!

So what's new? Well, surprisingly, not a lot! Mikey and I took ourselves and the puppers home to visit dad this weekend. We made meals for him, since grandma was off on a quilt retreat. Dad was fun to visit; we went out to the farm, drove around a while, and generally just BS'ed around.

I've also been busy with Red Dog stuff. I'm working really hard on generating lots of new clients for next year, so here's a new deal for you: if you refer a paying client to me, I'll give you a 10% commission on the entire invoice amount. (Important note, to all you greedy li'l tramps out there: some of these invoices are very large!) Just make sure to let me know who you've referred. When they pay me, I'll pay you. Sweet deal, huh?

Otherwise, not a lot is going on. I'm really wiped out after the weekend, and can't wait to start a brand new work week! Bleh. More tomorrow. [OCTOBER 8 2006]

Necessity
Last night Mikey and I went to the Sheraton for a free meal with my sister, who was the weekend manager. That was fun. Then we went to Barnes and Noble—where I didn't buy anything, thank you very much. Then we went to Edina Creamery (because ice cream is an absolute necessity), and came back home.

Today I went to the art supply store and Target, watched the Twins, and spent some quality time with the ~~remote~~ dogs. A pretty boring day, but those are my favorite kind. Nothing's going on tonight, either—just watching TV, sorting through some files, click-clackin' around. Right now, I'm listening to Lucky smack her food, while Finny is squeaking the new bunny I bought at Target. He seems to like it, and in the 15 minutes since I've been home, the dogs have gotten into about 14 fights over the stupid thing. "Well Rachel," you might say, "just buy two of them!" But here's what I've learned (and it's probably a good lesson for my future as a mom, too): it doesn't matter if I buy one or two or fifteen. A dog always wants whatever the other dog has in its mouth. Period. [SEPTEMBER 24 2006]

Friday Night, and the Livin's Easy
How does a 29-year-old girl spend her Friday nights? If she's like me (and you can bet she is!), she reads up on retirement planning, and investigates how to most efficiently ladder CDs. She might take a break to reflect on her current financial situation and sort invoices and receipts for next year's tax preparation purposes. Or perhaps she'll go way out on a limb and dust, vacuum, and sweep. She's likely to eventually get sucked in to some crappy television show; tonight it was Dateline's "To Catch a Predator." (Side note: Mike tries to prevent me from watching these shows, as they only serve to reinforce my already incredily distorted and cynical views about humanity and male sexuality. Come on! She's 15, YOU IDIOTIC DISGUSTING PERVERT!!!!)

After a crazy Friday night like this, I should really go to bed. Whew! [SEPTEMBER 22 2006]

Well Holy Cow
Apparently I'm overdue for a posting on my blog. Things are...good. Not a helluva lot is going on. Work is really good, home is really good, the dogs are really good. Blah blah blah. What else do you wanna know? [SEPTEMBER 12 2006]

Carnage, V.4
Tonight after work, Lucky caught a chipmunk in the bushes by my shed. She brought its dead, limp body into the breezeway for me, which I truly appreciated.

When will it end, Lord? When will it end? [AUGUST 28 2006]

Know Thyself
A little introspection is good for everyone. While I might take it to the extreme (and often at the expense of human contact), I find few things more rewarding than "taking stock" of my own life, figuring out what I'm doing, where I'm going, and what I want in the days and years ahead. So here's a list of questions to help get you started. DO NOT stop to think and worry about your answers---just list the first five or ten words or phrases that come to your mind. Just to complete the circle, I've finished the list myself. How do your answers compare? [AUGUST 26 2006]

Finish this sentence: "I feel best when I'm..."
(1) Being productive, (2) Learning—or immersed in environments that encourage original thought, (3) Playing with my dogs, (4) Helping others, and (5) Reading and writing

Finish this sentence: "I'm most proud of these accomplishments..."
(1) Finishing graduate school and earning an M.A. in a subject I'm passionate about.
(2) Leaving home and going to college.
(3) Quitting smoking.
(4) Owning and caring for my own house.
(5) Being a good writer and having a job in my field that provides extra spending money.
(6) Knowing how to read music and play and a variety of instruments. Also, owning (and having paid for) my own professional studio piano.

If I won the lottery and no longer needed the money, how would I use my skills and talents to help humanity?
I would create a huge facility for homeless dogs, with acres of room to run and play.

If I could do anything I wanted, what would I do? Why?
I’d write interesting books—about women, adolescent girls, dogs, cultural and societal issues, politics, workplace reform, etc. I would be a strong and vocal advocate for women, girls, and animals. I’d adopt a bunch of homeless dogs from the Humane Society and create a large area for them to play and live.

What are my five best traits?
Smart, Thoughtful, Responsible, Genuine, and Motivated

What are my five worst traits?
Impatient, Demanding, Anti-social, Perfectionistic, and Stubborn

Bleh
Things have been busy, and I've been getting grumpy. I've spent nearly every free minute I've had lately (including weekends, thank you very much) doing Red Dog Writing work. Don't get me wrong: it's cool. And I'm really glad I have clients—and good clients. I just really want some breathing room. Some time to sit and do nothing...to eat, and couch, and fondle the remote. This weekend will be the same thing, and I'm not exactly looking forward to it. On the other hand, extra income is always a good thing. [AUGUST 21 2006]

NaNoWriMo
Also, I'm pleased to announce that in November, I'll be participating in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). What's it all about? Well, here's their description:

"Valuing enthusiasm and perseverance over painstaking craft, NaNoWriMo is...all about quantity, not quality. Participants begin writing November 1. The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30. The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations, take risks, and write on the fly. Make no mistake: You will be writing a lot of crap. And that's a good thing. By forcing yourself to write so intensely, you are giving yourself permission to make mistakes. To forgo the endless tweaking and editing and just create. To build without tearing down."

So, good or bad, by midnight on November 30 I will have completed a book. Send me your ideas now—I'm sure I can use them! [AUGUST 14 2006]

Stuff...and Things
I've been super duper busy lately, as evidenced by my lack of posts. The new job is going great; I'm really going to like it...can already tell. My group is really fun, and I'm going to like the work I do, so that's awesome!

While getting my oil changed this weekend, I stumbled across a consignment furniture store on the main drag. Check out the new desk/hutch I bought for $79. It's pretty sweet! I was pretty excited to have some more desk space. (Disregard the piles of &*%^ on the desk; I'm still arranging.)

How are the dogs? Well, they're surviving. Note the drool spot. Bleh. Finny has no shame.

My neighbor Brenda and I went for a walk around the lake tonight. That was fun; I like chatting with her. She's smart. And nice. Plus, I need to go for more walks. I'm getting pretty pudgy! Just wait til Christmas though; I'll be a super model.

How's Mikey? Good. I neglected him a lot this weekend, as I had to finish up some freelance work for a Red Dog client. But now I'm done with that (until the review drafts are returned!) so I can give my Mikey a little more attention.

Other than that, nothing's going on. More soon! [AUGUST 14 2006]

Bunny
More trauma in the backyard tonight. Lucky caught a rabbit (I've sinced named him "Bunny," may he rest in peace). I came outside and saw him lying in the yard, still, but breathing weakly. I put him in a box and brought him to the Humane Society, where he was pronounced dead. Poor baby bunny. The guy at the Humane Society told me--and this is the worst thing--that's he was definitely a domestic pet. He was cute: white with floppy light-brown ears. I sang to him on the way to the Humane Society. Maybe that's what killed him. I hate carnage in my backyard...why can't the dogs just love all creatures, big and small? Damn dogs. [AUGUST 2 2006]

First Days
First days always suck. I started the new job today, and it's gonna be just fine...but I hate the newness of everything. My office is undecorated, and I don't know anyone. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, or who to interact with. All new people in an entirely new environment is something that's hard to get used to. Oh well, like I said: I'm sure it'll be just fine.

Megan got married this weekend. It was a fun wedding, even though I couldn't stay very late cuz I had to get home for the dogs. (Damn dogs!) It was nice to see Erin and Chris again, too. Erin's having a baby girl; she's due on October 5. When baby is born, Mike and I are going to Kansas for a visit.

Speaking of Mikey, he's finally home from his vacation. I missed him very much. He's such a handsome head!

Wish me luck at the second day of work tomorrow. I can't wait to have some friends there! More later. [JULY 31 2006]

Happy Hour
Here are last night's photos. Urgent note to everyone and anyone who attended: I'm sorry if I said or did anything ridiculous/inappropriate/stupid/illegal, etc. I'm really quite a moron sometimes.

I'm sure Joe will have more photos, too. Me no feel so good! [JULY 27 2006]

Books I've Read This Year
Here are the books I've read so far this year, as well as my rating (5 out of 5 is the best):

Atonement, by Ian McEwan (4/5)
Population 485: Meeting Your Neighbors One Siren at a Time, by Michael Perry (3/5)
The Dogs of Bedlam Farm: An Adventure with 16 Sheep, 3 Dogs, 2 Donkeys, and Me, by John Katz (4/5)
How I Learned to Cook (and Other Writings on Complex Mother-Daughter Relationships), edited by Margo Perin (2/5)
Rules for Old Men Waiting, by Peter Pouncey (3/5)
Baker Towers, by Jennifer Haigh (4.5/5)
The Memory Keeper's Daughter, by Kim Edwards (4/5)
The Bonesetter's Daughter, by Amy Tan (4/5)
Aloft, by Chang-rae Lee (4/5)
Devil in the Details: Scenes from an Obsessive Girlhood, by Jennifer Traig (3.5/5)
Skipping Christmas by John Grisham (2.5/5)
We Were the Mulvaneys, by Joyce Carol Oates (3/5)
Unless, by Carol Shields (3/5)
Portrait of My Mother, Who Posed Nude in Wartime, by Marjorie Sandor (2.5/5)
Memoirs of a Geisha, by Arthur Golden (4.5/5)
I Know This Much is True, by Wally Lamb (4.5/5)
She's Come Undone, by Wally Lamb (4/5)
The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini (4/5)
How I Became Stupid, by Martin Page (2.5/5)
Drowning Ruth, by Christina Schwarz (4/5)
Gilead, by Marilynne Robinson (3.5/5)
The Bell Jar, by Sylvia Plath (3.5/5)
Never Let Me Go, by Kazuo Ishiguro (3/5)
Lolita, by Vladimir Nabokob (4/5)
The Namesake, by Jhumpa Lahiri (4.5/5)
The Girls' Guide to Hunting and Fishing, by Melissa Bank (3.8/5)
Me Talk Pretty One Day, by David Sedaris (3/5)
The Lovely Bones, by Alice Sebold (4/5)
Light on Snow, by Anita Shreve (3.75/5)
Good Grief, by Lolly Winston (4/5)
I'll Take You There, by Joyce Carol Oates (2.5/5)
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, by Mark Haddon (4/5)
Fifty Acres and a Poodle: A Story of Love, Livestock, and Finding Myself on a Farm, by Jeanne Marie Laskas (4/5)
Mrs. Kimble, by Jennifer Haigh (4.3/5)
A River Runs Through It, by Norman Maclean (4.8/5)
The Writer's Guide to Queries, Pitches, and Proposals, by Moira Allen (4.5/5)
A Writer's Book of Days, by Judy Reeves (3.8/5)
Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture, by Ariel Levy (3.8/5)

Quite a list, huh? Now get reading! [JULY 26 2006]

They're the Cutest Heads!
I need to be careful about the web sites I visit. Holy cow...I am SUCH a crazy dog lady. I was looking at different Irish Setter sites, and I came across these puppies. They're adoptable from a breeder in Green Bay, and I swear to God: it's taking every ounce of self-control I have to keep my car in the garage. The little pup-n-pants are the cutest heads! I wanna kiss-n-cuddle their little rubbery faces! I mean, come on! Look at them! [JULY 21 2006]

La-Dee-Da-Dee...We Likes to Party!
It's Friday night, about 10:20. What am I doing, you ask? Well, I'm watching WCCO news and geeking around on my computer. It's a party-a-minute life I've got here! Mikey is on his week-long golf vacation with his old college friends. They're flying to Oregon, and then driving back to golf the whole way home. Sounds like a lot of ~~fun~~ bullshit to me! I'm sure I'll be sad while my Mikey is gone, but I'm glad he's having fun. I'll probably be partying with the dogs a lot during the next week.

My happy hour for work is next Thursday, the 27th. I'm already nervous at the sheer volume of shots that are likely to be lined up for me. I guess a person could have worse problems, though, right? [JULY 21 2006]

Bleh and Ugh...
I got food poisoning last night, I think from some re-heated chicken, though I can't be sure. Felt like quite a piece of crap, literally, and for calling in sick during my last 2 weeks of work. Ugh. I can't remember ever feeling so sick in my life. On the plus side, I probably lost about 10 pounds :)

Anyway, here are some fiesta pictures, courtesy of Asshole Joe. Enjoy! [JULY 19 2006]

Weekend Update
We had the big fiesta in my backyard this weekend, which was lots of fun. Good food, good drinks, lots of good people...what could be better? I'll try to post some pictures sooner than later.

So here's my big news: I accepted a position as a Senior Technical Writer in Cardiovascular Research at Boston Scientific. I start on Monday, July 31, and am pretty excited! Wish me luck! [JULY 16 2006]

Spam
I get lots of spam...Viagra, Cialis, pleas for financial help by Nigerian government officials, you name it. But tonight's spam took the cake for me. The subject was "Your girlfriends hate your penis!" And the body text said, "Is your penis too spongy?", among other things I'd rather not discuss. Seriously. I'm a GIRL! I don't care about any of this crap. And "spongy"? I mean, come on. Technology isn't always all it's cracked up to be. [JULY 12 2006]

Nauseous
I'm nauseous. Nope, not pregnant, just nauseous. Will tell you more later! [JULY 10 2006]

Wonderful Discovery!
Since leaving my little Lucky dog with Myra for a weekend, I've had the most wonderful discovery! She comes when I call her now, and quickly! It's as if I'm more of a threat now: if she doesn't come right away, I might leave her! Sucker! [JULY 7 2006]

Oops
I've been so busy and productive during my "vacation" that I forgot all about my "update every day" deal. So here's the latest thing I've been working on. I've volunteered to run Lucky Dog Rescue Foundation's web site (yes, I used my backroadbarns.com template; why reinvent the wheel?). I really like it, and I feel so good about doing it! Check it out: www.luckydogrescuemn.org. Adopt a great new pet!

What else? Well, Mikey's in Granite golfing. He'll be home later tonight, and we'll hang out. I've been dinking around in my yard a lot, which is really fun. I SOOOO wish I had an outdoor job; I love being outside! Tomorrow Mike and I will probably go to St. Cloud to visit Myra and Steve, and check out their new crib. So that'll be cool. And Tuesday? We have no plans for the fourth, but hopefully it'll be relaxing. I can watch the fireworks from my front yard, so that's cool. Wednesday it'll be back to work. In a way, I'm looking forward to it. It'll give me a chance to relax a little!

I can't think of anything else to say, so I guess that's all for now. [JULY 2 2006]

Vacation, Day 4
Well holy cow---it's 11:32, and I'm just now working on my blog update. How was today? Well, I had appointments from 9 until around 1, which were fun. And then I came home, shmooped the puppies a little, and played on our volleyball league tonight (we won all 4 games---HOORAY!). That's about all. Mikey and I went to Target afterwards to get milk. Not much accomplished today, but maybe lots accomplished. Who knows? Anyway, more tomorrow. [JUNE 29 2006]

Vacation, Day 3
What did I get done before noon today, you ask? Well, I mowed my lawn (and by "I," I mean that my sister came over and did it for me!), planted some marigolds (see picture below, with Finny showing them off), cleaned my entire house (dusting, sweeping, vacuuming, laundry, etc.), took the dogs for an hour-long walk, watched the Twins kick some ass, picked 4 ripe jalapenos out of my garden, and drank a beer. It was nice. [JUNE 28 2006]

Vacation, Day 2
Today was a little less productive than yesterday, but I did manage to paint the bathroom door and get my hair all cute-sified. I love it! Mikey and I took the dogs for a walk tonight, and then watched the end of a little league game in the park. Tomorrow I am SLEEPING IN! I can't wait! [JUNE 27 2006]

A Couple More Things (Can You Believe It?)
Oh, and my cable is out. I still get the "basic" channels, but I was watching this horrifically disturbing thing about white supremacy on A&E, and the cable went out. No fear! I called Comcast. I'm still on hold.

I also learned today, for all of you who might have to watch my dogs at some point in the future, that Lucky responds better to "Lazy" than "Lucky." When you say, "Come here Lucky!" you get no response. When you say, "Come here Lazy!" she comes a-runnin!

Here's what Finny is doing tonight. NOTE: I blurred out the inappropriate portions for the sake of Finny's humility. And I made the blurred area large, for his pride:

[JUNE 26 2006]

Holy Productive!
Who says vacation is for laying around, eating junk food, drinking beer, couching, and fondling the remote? Today is my first official day of vacation, and check out what I've accomplished so far:

This weekend, my perfect and beautiful boyfriend Mikey installed a great new deck door. You don't realize how beautiful this is unless you remember the last door!
I painted the garden boxes that my little brother installed for me earlier in the spring. (P.S. The gardens are doing great!)
I painted the bench/half table that my little brother made for me years ago. I love the new red color...it sure livens up the yard a little!
I (hired contractors, who) sprayed the ceilings in my bathroom and kitchen. Remember all the drunken paint blotches of earlier days? Gone!
I painted the 2 kids' chairs, and set them up in the back yard with my newly-gotten 1/2-price geraniums. Yay!

And tonight? I'm working on my portfolio. More on that later, maybe. My sister has challenged me to update this blog for every day that I'm on vacation. I'm up for the challenge! See you tomorrow! [JUNE 26 2006]

Let me know what you think of the improvements!

I Want a Farm!
And on that farm, I want miniature donkeys, ducks, geese, chickens, goats, lots of barn cats, and 3 dogs. I would like to have my farm before 2009. That's all. Oh, and I want babies. I'm ready to have babies. I want 2 or 3 of them. I'll be an excellent mother, if only I can stop drinking. ;) [JUNE 12 2006]

Old Journal
I found an old online journal tonight (from my college years), and I love one of my lines:

"Everyone says that I'll come out of this whole mess a better person, but I think I was a decent enough person to begin with." (Oct. 20, 1995)

And here's another ominous foreshadowing from the same journal: "Finner's in town this weekend. He called me tonight from Lenny's. Maybe we'll hang out tomorrow night, if they get back in time. Maybe not. Don't really care, but I love that guy. My old friend Ryan is over here now, too, drunk, just wanting to lay down for a while on his way home. That cracks me up. I love that guy, too." (May 22 1996)

If all goes well tomorrow night, Jesse the wonder-dog will have a brand new forever home starting on Sunday. I'm half happy, half devastated. [MAY 25 2006]

Such a Good Boy!
It's going to be SO HARD for me to give up my foster pup when we find a good home for him! He's such a good boy! I'm leaving him in the breezeway now while I'm at work, with the other 2 dogs, instead of in his kennel. And he behaves perfectly: there have been no messes or problems whatsoever. I'm going to cry when he leaves. I wish I could keep him. If I only had one dog (instead of 2) there would be no question in my mind. He'd be my dog.

The best thing about Jesse? He's hilarious. Really. He's hilarious in an energetic puppy sort of way. For instance, tonight I was washing dishes at the kitchen sink. It probably took me 10 minutes, total. In that 10 minutes, my Jesse must've really needed attention, because he made trip after trip after trip into the toy bin. By the time I was done washing dishes, a big pile of toys was at my feet. He cracks me up. [MAY 17 2006]

Introducing...Jesse!
Jesse is an 18-month-old neutered male Golden Retriever. He is friendly and happy and full of energy. In just 24 hours, he has learned the commands "Sit," "Lay Down," and "Come here!" He's so smart! And he LOVES to play with other dogs (would probably do best with females). He sits nicely to be brushed, and likes playing with squeaky toys and bouncy balls. I am Jesse's foster parent until he finds a loving, permanent home. But he's such a good, handsome boy, that won't take long at all! Lots of people will want to snatch him right up!

Jesse spent the last 21 days in the pound, locked in a small cage without the chance to get outside and play, so he couldn't be happier to have a temporary family until his real one comes along! If you're interested in giving Jesse a permanent, loving, indoor home, and you have a fenced yard, and you live in the Twin Cities metro area, call Lucky Dog Rescue at 763-585-6160. Or e-mail them at PickMe@luckydogrescuemn.com. [MAY 14 2006]

Animals
On Saturday I did the 2006 Animal Humane Society's Walk for Animals. It was fun, and the dogs absolutely love it. It's cool for the dogs to be around so many animals, and it's cool for me to be around so many animal lovers. [MAY 10 2006]

Hooray!
After many long hours of toiling, the new Red Dog site is up and running. Let me know what you think! [MAY 8 2006]

Should Know...
Everyone should know what it's like to work at (and stick with) a job they don't like, so that they can know what it's like to appreciate and enjoy a job they love. [MAY 3 2006]

Well...
Well holy cow. It sure has been a long time since I've written! I've been busy-busy-busy...mostly with Red Dog stuff and lots of client work and meetings. It's fun, though, so I can't complain. Speaking of Red Dog, my friend Dan is redesigning my Red Dog site, to make it more 1) professional, and 2) client-friendly. I think it'll be ready to go next week. Can't wait to show it off! I really like it.

The weather (with the exception of the last several days) has been unbelievably nice. My little brother came up a couple weekends ago and installed some vegetable garden boxes for me in my backyard. Today I planted potatoes and peas. I'll transplant the other veggies that I'm growing indoors after the danger of frost is gone. Will have lots of fresh veggies this summer, and I'm excited!

Tonight my sister came over and we went grocery shopping. My dogs acted like they love her more than me. Finny is pathetic, and Lucky isn't even the least bit scared of Karen anymore. Whatever.

What else, you ask? Well, today I mowed my lawn for the first time this season. Karen Besst and I are going down to the Ghetto next weekend for town-wide garage sales and the big "craft barns" thing in town. I'll be happy for Karen to meet my mom and dad; they've both heard lots about each other!

I'm doing the Walk for Animals this Saturday, to support the Animal Humane Society in Golden Valley and Coon Rapids. It's just a 5-mile walk, but the dogs will love it, and it's for a good cause. I've raised less than $300 this year, though. Usually I earn well over $500. What gives?!? Oh well, I guess more poor, innocent dogs and cats will be euthanized because people didn't want to donate $10. Whatever.

Today Kevin Wasti and I talked about whether or not mercy killing should be legal. We both agree that it should--that Dr. Kevorkian is doing a good thing. It's funny that we can call it "mercy" and "only fair" to put animals to sleep, but that putting humans to sleep peacefully is out of the question and unacceptable. And it's usually a religious argument you hear: "who are we to decide who should die?" Well, that's funny. Because all sorts of religions around the world right now--at this very moment--are deciding that lots of people should die. How many wars have been fought in name of Christianity, Judaism, Islam? Mercy killing---euthanasia---would be a blessing as far as I'm concerned.

Lori Boblitt and Dan LaBelle both quit this week. Their last days are next Friday, the 12th. Work isn't the funnest place lately.

Spent all day Friday with the freelance writing team at the University Club in St. Paul (beautiful!). We ate there and at W.A. Frost, where I felt really farm-girlish since I didn't know what anything on the menu meant. But it was really good. And I ate raw tuna, which was surprisingly good. It was expensive, but we didn't have to pay:) I like all the women I work with; it's nice to be around a group of fun, intelligent, opinionated, and kind women.

Speaking of farm-girls, I can't wait to have a farm. I'm spending all of my free time (which, lately, is less than a couple hours each week!) researching farms and crops and barns. I can't wait to live a rural life, minus the smell of pig shit and the ignorance of slack-jawed-yokel neighbors. Some folk'll never eat a skunk, but then again, some folk'll....like Cletus, the slack-jawed yokel.

How's THAT for an update? Will write more tomorrow! [MAY 2 2006]

Myra's Deep Thought
"Why is the devil always skinny in pictures? I think the devil is fat."

P.S., Happy birthday to me, yesterday. The first of many 29's, I'm sure. [APRIL 6 2006]

Raining in Baltimore
And I get no answers. I don't get no change.
It's raining in Baltimore, baby...but everything else is same.

There's things I remember; there's things I forget.
I miss you. I guess that I should.
Three thousand five hundred miles away...
But what would you change if you could? [APRIL 2 2006]

Life is Full of Difficult Choices
Sometimes I expect Finny to make difficult choices. He can't always do it, so he simply refuses to choose. It's cute. [MARCH 20 2006]

Productive
Talk about a productive weekend! My little brother came over and installed a cool slider for my garbage cupboard. It's VERY slick, and a huge improvement. He also made a new cutting board for me (very cool!), and fixed up my front yard gardens. I picked up dog shit (have I already mentioned that?), planted all of my transplantable seedlings (4 varieties of tomatoes, 6 varieties of peppers, red and green onions, thyme, oregano, rosemary, parsley, mint julep, cilantro, basil, and sage), and cleaned. My seedlings are in their own little greenhouse (complete with grow lights and warming pads) by my south-facing kitchen window. I've decided to see how much better the plants will do in a more controlled environment. Other years, I just throw a seed in some dirt and hope for the best. They've always done just fine that way, but I'm hoping this year will be even better.

My friend Matt has a new son! Welcome to the world, Noah! And congrats, Matt! Hooooooooooray! [MARCH 13 2006]

Shit Update
Eight bags. Eight. Not fun. [MARCH 11 2006]

Shit
I took a vacation day tomorrow. It's supposed to be nice outside. What will I be doing, you ask? Picking up 6 months' worth of dog shit out of my backyard. Jealous? [MARCH 10 2006]

Really Proud and Excited
I've been working really hard (REALLY hard) on a new project. It's not officially "ready to go" yet, but I'm far enough along that I want to share it with you---and ask you to PLEASE SHARE IT WITH EVERYONE YOU KNOW and HELP ME IN ANY WAY YOU CAN. It's a project aimed at documenting all of Minnesota's barns, before they fall. I'm really proud and excited. I intend to spend the rest of my life on this project. So...please help me!

P.S. I'm actually using DreamWeaver for the site, too...instead of stupid old FrontPage. Am learning HTML as I go, and it's hard for me---but I'm trying hard. DreamWeaver is an ideal half-way point for me. Hooray!

Complaining
Thanks to all of you who have helped me feel so popular by complaining about my recent lack of posts! Here I am, writing nothing—just for you.

Okay, okay: sorry for neglecting this site. I've been busy. Right now I'm dog-sitting for a coworker. It's our first night, and so far everything is going just fine. The dogs all get along well, and there have been no problems at all yet. Her name is Daisy, and she's a cute black lab. I have her until next Saturday. It'll be fun! The dogs are already tired.

I've also been busy with Red Dog. I have a couple clients who are keeping me very busy, which is good! With a couple more good, steady clients, I can go full-time freelance! And I'm still teaching—at least for the next 5 weeks. I'm looking forward to being done with that...

Lucky turns 3 this Saturday (the 11th), and we're having a doggy party for her. Karen and Myra (and Jake and Molly and Cody and Sugar) are coming over, and Daisy will still be here---so it'll be a grand ol' time. Lots of commotion, but good. Plus, we'll be able to have some beers. Mmmmmm.

Next weekend is my sister's 30th birthday party, which I'm hosting at my house. So I've been busy preparing for that, too.

I've become an official member of—and have registered for four classes at—the Loft. One of those classes is this Saturday (before Lucky's party). Am glad to officially be back on the writing wagon. I certainly feel better when I'm writing.

Lucky was sick during the Super Bowl. Her eyes were red, and she was lethARGIC, and she yelped every time I tried to move her. She's fine now. Don't know what was wrong. I felt bad for her when she was sick, so I got her a new squirrel, which Finny promptly stole. He will NOT let her take it. He sleeps with the damn thing, carries it everywhere, squeaks it every time Lucky walks by, and is generally a pain in the ass about it. But I laugh. And why? Because I've recently discovered that I am not the boss of Finny. He's somehow overthrown me as pack leader, and now feels that he's in charge. I am gaining back my power quickly. And by force. :-)

What else? I met Megan out for lunch today. She just got back from a Cancun vacation...had a really good time and is not happy to be back! And...my mom's birthday was yesterday. Happy birthday Mom! And...Mike is still the best boyfriend ever. Today I scraped and brushed his car for him, and made him a good homemade dinner and salad. Today he helped me move rugs and plowed my driveway. We like each other. So that's good. Mike makes me happy, and I don't have to fake anything or force anything. He's my favorite. He's funny and smart and easy to talk to. He likes my family and my friends, and they like him. He thinks I'm a good person, even when I try to convince him otherwise. And he's so nice and loving. He cares what I think and what I say, and even when he completely disagrees with me, he treats my ideas with respect and thoughtfulness. This is more refreshing than I could ever come close to explaining.

Work has been busy, but not busy enough to feel stimulating or rewarding in any way. I've been steadily getting rid of all the excess "things" around me, simplifying and organizing and streamlining in such a dedicated way that every item I own must either be (1) be necessary, or (2) bring me joy. You'd be amazed at how much crap one person can get rid of! Beyond that, I've got nothing to say. Will write more tomorrow. Promise. [FEBRUARY 9 2006]

Cute Head
Finny got a "field cut" today, and he looks absolutely smashing. Also, Mike is pretty proud of his box of wood. [JANUARY 17 2006]

Birth Date
Here is what my birth date says about me:

You have many talents, and you are great at sharing those talents with others. Most people would be jealous of your clever intellect, but you're just too likeable to elicit jealousy. Progressive and original, you're usually thinking up cutting edge ideas. Quick witted and fast thinking, you have difficulty finding new challenges.

Your strength: Your superhuman brainpower
Your weakness: Your susceptibility to boredom
Your power color: Tangerine
Your power symbol: Ace
Your power month: May

What does your birth date mean? [JANUARY 12 2006]

Craft Room
My little brother spent the week with me. He was in town for something at the convention center. While he was here, he built me a craft room in my second bedroom. So now I have all sorts of room to do my sewing and crafting. Finny LOVES the new room. He never leaves. [JANUARY 8 2006]

Smoke-Free
By the way, today is my 2-year smoke-free anniversary. I've NOT smoked over 18,500 cigarettes, and have saved just under $4,000. I RULE!

Happy Birthday, Uncle Don. [JANUARY 6 2006]

Which?
Which will the United States see first: a female President, or a female NFL Head Coach? [JANUARY 3 2006]

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