URGENT NOTICE!!!!

I'm moving my site to the following location: http://rachel-davis.blogspot.com/. Please update your bookmarks and plan to use the new site from now on. It'll be easier to maintain, and I'll be able to incorporate cooler features than now. This site will be up and running for a long time --- until it expires next year --- but I'll only be making updates on the new site. Starting today.

PLEASE BE PATIENT AS I GET THE NEW SITE UP AND RUNNING. I'm in the process of transferring content, but that's gonna take a while. It'll also be a while before I get my photos and links moved.

I want to get lots of comments, so get out your thinking hats and get writing!!!!

Some Random Thoughts

• I've never met anyone who thinks that he or she is a bad writer. There are LOTS of bad writers in the world, and chances are good that you're one of them. Do I seem a little defensive about this? It's because I'm surrounded by poor writers, almost all of whom insist they could do my job. Hey: I took math classes, too. I guess that means I could do your job. Just because you can put pen to paper (or finger to keyboard) and form a reasonably coherent sentence doesn't mean you're a good writer.
• The quality of your writing can never exceed the quality of your thinking. If you have stupid ideas in your brain, you're going to be left with stupid ideas on paper.
• When I type "Obama" in my version of Word (2002), it comes up as a spelling error, with "Osama" and "Bema" as suggested corrections. Is this true for your version of Word?
• Like wisdom, perspective doesn't always come with age---but it rarely comes without it. Studying and understanding the world's history is a great way to gain perspective. So do that.
• One tiny part of perspective, for me, is knowing that a diamond ring will not seem exciting or promising the second time around.
• I went to a party this weekend. It was fun. There were lots of nice people there. I think I have social anxiety disorder.
• I desparately want to meet someone who will (1) genuinely believe in my abilities, and (2) consistently encourage me to reach my potential.
• Perhaps as importantly, I desparately want to meet someone in whose abilities I will genuinely believe.
• Dogs are really, really kick ass. I am unwilling to entertain other perspectives regarding this debate---which, I suppose, makes me ignorant and narrow-minded. If you disagree with me on this subject, then we'll just talk about weather or sports. Pbbbbt.
• Today is my dad's birthday. He is the kindest, calmest, funniest, smartest, coolest person I've ever known. I love him beyond my capacity for words. I wish he could live forever.
• The worst job I've ever had was during my college years. I worked for just a few weeks at the Sociology department, doing tele-surveys to MN residents about our state lottery. People hung up on me and swore at me constantly. That's the only job for which I didn't give 2 weeks notice when I quit; I just walked out in the middle of my shift. My boss called me and begged me to come back. He offered me a big raise and told me that I was really good at the job, that I got more respondents than any other employee. That is sad. I never went back there again.
• I wish I could get my damn stinking wireless internet to work. I'm sitting on a baby desk while I type this, since that's where my internet connection is located. Bleh. [NOVEMBER 2 2008]

This Little Scene
Though I despise ignorance, I recognize that I am ignorant in many, many ways about many, many subjects. What bothers me far more than ignorance, however, is when people are completely unaware of -- and unwilling to learn about -- all that they might not know. Even worse? Some of the world's most ignorant people are also the ones who hold most strictly to their ideas and beliefs. Conversations then become pointless, so you begin talking about weather or sports, silently wishing that this little scene in the play of your life would end. [NOVEMBER 1 2008]

Sale of the Century!
I'm cleaning and organizing, which means great savings and opportunities for you! Check out the CDs I'm getting rid of (Excel file, below). They're $2/each, or $3/each for the multi-disc sets. But act now, because these fantastic savings won't last!! They're going fast! :) [OCTOBER 22 2008]

Check out the sale!

Neuroses

1. I have a garbage can in my bathroom. Perhaps appropriately, it is intended to hold garbage until such time as garbage needs to be emptied. Every time I empty this garbage can, I spend the next 3-4 days not putting any garbage in it; I'll take any garbage created in the bathroom to the "main" garbage can, so as not to start the bathroom-garbage-cycle all over again.
2. No matter how small my wound, I cannot bring myself to use those small, square Band-Aids. They seem like something that would cover a wart, and I don't want to appear to be covering a wart.
3. No matter what, I must always have a spare tube of toothpaste in my house.
4. I spend more time re-checking my alarm clock each night than I spend brushing my teeth, changing my clothes, letting the dogs out, and getting ready for bed.
5. Red and purple Flinstones vitamins are good for you. The orange ones serve no purpose.
6. Grocery lists are not grocery lists until they sorted by department (e.g., Produce, Dairy, Bakery, Grocery, etc.). Most preferable? List the items not just by department, but in the order those items appear on store shelves. Efficiency, don't you know...
7. For God's sake, people: the tagged end of your pillow should be the first end put into the pillowcase. Are we all a bunch of cavemen?
8. Cleaning the floors before dusting is a clear indicator of idiocy. [OCTOBER 25 2008]

$600
I'm getting new tires, apparently because they are very necessary. $600 is not exactly chump change--and buying tires is not exactly the way I'd choose to spend it. But my appointment is set for today, so I'll be much safer on the road this winter. [OCTOBER 25 2008]

Urgent Plea

1. If you're voting for Barack Obama because he's black, please don't vote.
2. If you're voting for John McCain because he's not black, please don't vote.

[OCTOBER 21 2008]

Another One You Gotta See

Fiona
One of the reasons I love Fiona Apple as a musician is that she's an exceptional writer.

"Nobody sees when you are lying in your bed,
and I wanna crawl in with you, but I cry instead.
I want your warmth, but it will only make me colder when it's over...
So I can't tonight, baby.
...No, not "baby" anymore.
If I need you, I'll just use your simple name.
Only kisses on the cheek from now on,
and in a little while, we'll only have to wave." [OCTOBER 19 2008]

Words I Don't Say
Spent the weekend at home, taking care of Mom and Dad. There are all sorts of things I could say, but I will not say them here. Suffice it to say that (1) I think I was helpful, (2) it was good to see them, and (3) I love Mom and Dad very much.

I'd taken Friday off, and went home early in the morning. Got home late last night (Saturday). I helped Mom with laundry, sweeping, mopping, dusting, garbage and recycling duties, cooking, taking Dad to the farm and church, cleaning appliances, and generally keeping things in order. Then I woke up this morning and took care of my own work: dusting, sweeping, mopping, laundry (including bedding), mowing, raking, picking up dog poop, dishes, etc. Even went grocery shopping this morning. I'm pretty tired, and not looking forward to another work-week beginning so soon! Note to all friends: I will very likely require some no-human-contact time all next weekend. I need time to be by myself.

I was really glad to see former Secretary of State General Colin Powell on Meet the Press this morning. He summed up all of my "Obama 08!" arguments--and, like me, he did so while remaining respectful of the opposition's presidential candidate (and only mildly disrepectful of the opposition's vice-presidential candidate). I am actually voting FOR someone this year, as opposed to AGAINST someone. I am excited about Obama's candidacy, and I think he'll make a terrific president. [OCTOBER 19 2008]

Edgar
I don't think I've ever felt pissed off after reading a book until tonight. I'm pissed off. Thank you, The Story of Edgar Sawtelle. [OCTOBER 15 2008]

Disturbing or Refreshing?
I've had dreams about my own death since I was in 5th or 6th grade, so I'm not alarmed at the subject matter of last night's dreams. What alarms me a bit, though, is my reaction in those dreams.

I dreamed that I died in a whole bunch of different ways: I drowned under the weight of a sinking ship, I was eaten by a bear, I fell off a ledge. Not the best dreams, admittedly, but nothing too abnormal for me. The following was abnormal, though: in my dreams, I felt no fear or anxiety while dying. I just felt the most intense sense of relief. Release. Just a freeing realization that it's over, that I don't have to try anymore.

I can't decide if that's disturbing or refreshing. [OCTOBER 13 2008]

Sunday Night
Just figured I was due for an update, so here it is. Pretty uneventful weekend--got some (much-needed!) stuff done around the house and yard. Weather was beautiful. Dogs were good. Finny might be getting too skinny. He seems to think so, anyway.

Mom's surgery on Friday went well, so that's good news. She's feeling okay, and is likely to be feeling better and better as the days pass.

I've got a pretty busy work-week ahead of me, but at least that'll make the week go by quickly. Not too many meetings, which is always my measure of how sucky a week will be.

Otherwise, blah. I'm sure I'll write more when I'm a little more motivated. [OCTOBER 12 2008]

Heartache
After 31 years, I thought I'd effectively numbed myself to the myriad possibilities of heartache in the world. Turns out, I hadn't even scratched the surface.

Today I learned a whole new definition of heartache, of heart-sickness, of just plain-old-sadness. This whole "it's okay to have human emotions" project is for the birds. Yay, world, I guess. [OCTOBER 5 2008]

Stupid Things I Do, Volume 273B
Buy candy, "for Halloween," on October 1. [OCTOBER 4 2008]

The Office
Friday at work was kind of [insert-your-adjective-here]. My company had a special exhibit, and an e-mail went out early in the morning to invite employees to come and check it out.

So by mid-afternoon, I was behind three men in the hallway. In fairness, I don't technically know any of these men, but I've seen them and said hello in the hallways thousands of times. In fairness, all three of them seem[ed?] like really good guys.

They didn't know I was behind them. A person in the group walking ahead of them said, "I signed up for the 1:00 session." The three guys ahead of me seemed irritated. "There was nothing about needing to sign up on the invitation," Man #1 said.

"Yeah," replied Man #2. "Sounds like this thing is being run by a bunch of women." [OCTOBER 4 2008]

Better Left Unsaid
And here, dear readers, is a short list of things I never want to hear again. Ever.

• "Maverick"
• "...my friends..."
• "straight talk"
• "That's not change! That's more of the same."
• "Wall Street / Main Street" references
• "Drill, baby, drill!"
• "Game-changer" [OCTOBER 3 2008]

Scared
Today I met a former coworker for lunch. We were talking about my complete incompetence at all things human-relationship, and he said (something like) this: "Lots of dogs take on the temperaments of their owners -- and you've got Lucky. Yeah, she's a little neurotic, but once you know her, she's very lovable."

Haha. Of course, I spent the coming hours taking his analogy a bit further. Lucky is scared of almost every human being in the world. Check. But she has absolutely no reason to be. Hmmm. She is misunderstood, by those who meet her, as neurotic and quirky and anti-social. That's not the case; in fact, she is intensely sensitive and superbly loving -- but not always comfortable showing it. Perhaps she was hurt earlier in her life. Perhaps she has some "abandonment" issues. But for God's sake, Lucky -- it's been years. Get over it already, right? Of course, Lucky gives the most fantastic love and affection once trust has been earned -- which only takes a couple years. Hmmm.

On the other hand, I like to think that it's Finny who's taking on the temperament of his owner: he loves everybody, and just assumes that everybody will return the favor to him. Amazingly, his completely unwarranted -- and dare I say, naive -- trust in human beings has never resulted in his being screwed over or hurt. Hmmm. Maybe Finny's right.

Or maybe Finny's really, really stupid. [SEPTEMBER 29 2008]

Ciao!
My friend Ben introduced me to the song Ciao! by Lush. It's a really good song, so I bought it from iTunes today. I'd rate it as, yes--I'll say it: the best breakup song ever. [SEPTEMBER 25 2008]

You! Yes, You!
The Great Computer Crash of 2008 meant that I lost all of my e-mail contacts. I don't know how to reach you via e-mail anymore. If you read this blog, then send me your e-mail address(es) so I can add you to my contacts list again. I no longer have the e-mail addresses of many of my favorite people! Poor, poor me! [SEPTEMBER 23 2008]

Where It's At
Mike Doughty loves my baby fat. He thinks my crooked nose is where it's at. [SEPTEMBER 22 2008]

(Non) Compensated Endorsements
I am not a compensated endorser -- but I love the following items enough to recommend them to anyone:

• Swiffer 360 Dusters -- they don't "make dusting fun," but they do make it faster and easier -- and do a really good job!
• CLR spray. I bought this to clean my shower, and it did better than anything I've ever tried.
• Schuler Shoes. Good store, good shoes, really helpful employees. And I'm really particular about shoes and my feet.
• SimCity. It's fun, even if a little lame.
• HP Color LaserJet 2605dtn. Does a great job. Ink is expensive, but printer is very reliable.
• Kawai pianos. Obviously the Steinway Grand is preferable, but Kawai makes really good, dependable, high-quality, beautiful pianos. Until you save up the tens of thousands needed for your Steinway, you can't go wrong with a Kawai Studio.
• Swiffer WetJet and Swiffer Sweeper. Both do a really good job, and simplify things a lot. Both are great for people dealing with pet hair. The only sucky thing? The "sweeper"/vaccum thing doesn't stay charged for very long, and fills up quickly, so you constantly need to empty and recharge. Still--very good.
• Adam Stendahl at COPO Computers. He saved my ass, and can probably save yours. Got a computer problem? Try him: stendahl (at) charter (dot) net.
• Meaty Bones dog treats. The dogs like them a lot. Also, Drs. Foster and Smith pet supplies. Good stuff.
• Half-Price Books. That place rocks ass. Do they sell gift certificates there? That's be a great Christmas present (hint, hint).
• Sally Hansen French Manicure Kit (nail polish).

And here are the businesses you should boycott with all your might:

• WalMart
• Best Buy
• DirecTV
• Dish Network

That's all for now. [SEPTEMBER 20 2008]

Not You
Here's the pitiful little graphic I drew on my whiteboard at work. It provides a nice, succinct, visual summary of my basic problem with humanity. [SEPTEMBER 16 2008]

Random Fact
I've lived in my house approximately 1,185 days. Just today, I used up my last trash bag from the box of 80 "13-gallon kitchen trash bags" I bought on the day I moved in. That means I average one 13-gallon bag of trash every 14.8 days. I'm green, baby! [AUGUST 28 2008]

Really?
I pull up to a stoplight next to a white truck. The guy in the truck waves at me and smiles. I do my best to pretend to care, smile back, then look forward. He honks. I look over. He starts flexing his biceps for me.

Really?

Can you feel the exciting (and yet somehow predictable) end to this tale? Naturally, I pulled over immediately, blushed and cooed girlishly at his amazing demonstration of superior male prowess, and agreed to meet him later this evening for a wildly uncensored adult romp. I mean, come on, ladies. What else could I do? [JULY 21 2008]

Whenever
Whenever I get irritated with the tumbleweeds of dog hair that sometimes blow across my hardwood floors, I remind myself how sterile and somber and boring my home would be without them.

My dogs make me laugh—real, belly laughs—every day. Finny has recently taken to eating the peas right off the vine, right out of the garden. (And who can blame him, with this crappy new low-calorie diet he's on?!? The dog's gotta survive somehow!) Lucky runs head-first into the fence when she chases bunnies and squirrels, then seems sincerely flabbergasted that the fence was there. Some nights, Finny snores so loudly that he startles himself awake and immediately begins growling. Lucky insists on having an audience when she eats. Finny gets belligerent if I pay too much attention to Lucky. Both dogs go total ape-shit when the mailman comes. (But think about it from the dogs' perspective: they win, every day. Every day, the mailman comes to the door. And when the dogs start barking, the mailman goes away. Mission accomplished, right? In their little pea brains, they're winning.)

I love my dogs. They rock. [JULY 20 2008]

Cynicism? Nah!
I wouldn't choose to relive my twenties for all the cash in the world. Never mind that. I would relive them—but only if I could take my 30-something-year-old brain with me. And only if I didn't have to live in an apartment, or with roommates. And only if I earned as much money as I do now. And I didn't have to go to stupid general education classes, or work at Napa Auto Parts or the Saint Cloud Times or Bremer Financial Services or the Sociology department. And I still had Lucks and Finn, and my neighbors Gary and Brenda, and my studio piano and book collection and nice furniture. And only if I could take with me the understanding that boys are just trying to get a piece of ass when they tell me that I have "the most beautiful eyes [they've] ever seen." (Come on, guys: a little ingenuity never hurt!) And only if...well, the list could go on and on.

The only part of my twenties that I would really, truly love to have back? The naivete with which I viewed people's motives, and the completely unearned trust I gave them. I can't decide if, in my thirties, I'm just smarter about how I view people, or if the distrust and cynicism I feel toward strangers is completely unwarranted. I don't want to be a cynical, jaded girl. I really don't. But I can't imagine what the hell it would take for me to just let my guard down and accept the idea that people aren't gonna eventually screw me over. Hmmm... [MAY 3 2008]

Regret, Part 1 (An Anti-Ode to Bar Boys)
You’re funny and sweet and oh-so-unique
But just when the beers are a-pouring.
In the broad light of day (I’m sorry to say)
You’re cocky and clueless and boring. [APRIL 26 2008]

30 Life Lessons Accumulated Over 30 Years

1. No matter how smart you are, you don't know everything.
2. No matter how perfect you are, you will make mistakes. Some big ones.
3. Love is a two-way street, with lots of One Way and Yield signs.
4. Love requires patience.
5. Marriage requires work.
6. Marry someone who treats you with kindness and respect.
7. Don't marry someone who doesn't—no matter what.
8. Don't quibble over stupid details.
9. Nagging is neither attractive nor productive.
10. Divorce is excrutiatingly, indescribably difficult. It will make you a different person. Avoid it. If you can't avoid it, know that you will get through it.
11. Don't allow anyone to speak for you. No matter how good their intentions, they don't know what's best for you.
12. Your "circle of life" can, with a little work, be stretched into an oval, squared off around the corners, and built into a perfectly good rectangle.
13. Outer beauty does not, will not, cannot last.
14. Inner beauty does not, will not, cannot erode.
15. Read everything you can get your hands on.
16. Be grateful for everything you have. Write it down. Recognize how blessed you are. Say thank you.
17. Social norms are for normal people, and there is no greater insult than to be called "normal."
18. If you love someone, tell them so.
19. If you hate someone, don't tell them so.
20. Shave your legs (or, as the Boy Scouts say, "Be Prepared").
21. Wear comfortable shoes. Take care of your feet.
22. Listen to good music as often as you can.
23. Always have at least one dog.
24. Pretend all those annoying drivers on the road are your mom. Let them cut you off. Smile at them.
25. No one else is responsible for making you happy.
26. Be nice.
27. Meditate regularly.
28. Don't worry about tomorrow.
29. Think.
30. Surround yourself with good people who make you smile. [MARCH 3 2008]